Love Is Not Enough: Taking Care of Your Life Partner

In today’s world, more couples—particularly millennials—are choosing to cohabitate (live together) rather than get married. Data Show that from 2013 to 2017, 59% of adults aged 18–44 were married. By 2022, that number dropped to 54%. During the same period, cohabitation among this age group increased from 50% to 60%.*

While living together can be a meaningful and committed choice, it is important to understand that love alone is not enough to protect your partner legally and financially. Marriage provides certain built-in protections and benefits that cohabiting couples often overlook or unintentionally forfeit. However, with proper planning, cohabiting couples can take steps to safeguard one another during life—and after.

Legal and Financial Considerations for Cohabiting Couples

1. Tax and Insurance Benefits

Married couples often enjoy financial benefits, such as:

• Joint tax filing, which may result in lower tax liability.

• Group health insurance rates that are often cheaper for spouses than for individuals or domestic partners.

Some employers allow domestic partners on health insurance, but costs may be higher and benefits more limited than those for legally married couples.

2. Medical Decision-Making

If a medical emergency arises and you are not legally married, your partner might not automatically have the right to make decisions on your behalf. Instead, this authority may default to a family member—unless legal documents say otherwise.

Recommended Documents:

• Power of Attorney (POA) – Grants your partner authority to handle financial and legal matters on your behalf.

• Health Power of Attorney (HPOA) – Gives your partner the right to make healthcare decisions if you're incapacitated.

• Living Will (Advance Healthcare Directive) – Outlines your wishes for life-sustaining treatment in situations like terminal illness or severe injury.

⚠️ Note: Both POA documents become invalid upon death. Always consult an estate attorney to ensure proper execution.

3. Estate Planning and Asset Transfer

Without legal marriage, a partner may not inherit your assets automatically—even if you've shared a life and home together. To avoid confusion and potential family disputes, it’s essential to formalize your wishes.

Key Steps:

• Real Estate Title – Ensure both partners are listed on the deed of the home and any other jointly owned property. This helps avoid claims from extended family members and ensures your partner’s right to remain in the home.

• Joint Bank Account – Maintain at least one shared account to allow continued access to funds. Joint accounts typically transfer automatically to the surviving partner.

• Beneficiary Designations – Name your partner as a beneficiary on accounts such as:

  • 401(k)s and IRAs

  • Life insurance

  • Bank and brokerage accounts

  • Annuities

Multiple beneficiaries can often be listed if needed.

4. Life Insurance

Life insurance can serve as income replacement or help pay off large debts (e.g., a mortgage) in the event of a partner’s death. Consult an insurance agent to find a policy that fits your needs and budget.

5. Will and Living Trust

• Will (Last Will and Testament) – Dictates how your assets (not passed by joint ownership or beneficiary designation) should be distributed. You can also appoint guardians for minor children.

• Living Trust – May be necessary for more complex estates. A trust can:

  • Help avoid probate

  • Allow for greater control of how and when assets are distributed

  • Ensure continuity in financial management if you become incapacitated

Trusts are often used in combination with a Will, POAs, and Living Will. Consult an estate attorney to determine if this is appropriate for your situation.

Choosing to live together without marriage is a personal decision, and for many, it works beautifully. However, failing to plan legally and financially can leave your partner vulnerable in times of crisis or loss. Love is foundational—but protection is essential.

Taking these proactive steps ensures that your partner can act on your behalf, inherit your assets as intended, and continue living the life you built together—even when you are no longer there to guide it.

Although the focus is for couples, these same estate planning documents should be considered and put into place for single adults as well.

💡 Consult with a qualified estate attorney and financial advisor to tailor these strategies to your unique circumstances.

By Ylanda T. Wilhite

Sources: *Pew Research Center and Bowling State University